


Sidelines

by Pinx_B



Category: BanG Dream! (Anime)
Genre: Angst, Drama, F/F, Future Fic, Romance, Yuri
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-09
Updated: 2020-01-09
Packaged: 2021-02-27 05:09:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,077
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22181587
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pinx_B/pseuds/Pinx_B
Summary: Arisa's dwindling relationship with Tae results in causing Saaya to act..
Relationships: Hanazono Tae/Ichigaya Arisa, Ichigaya Arisa/Yamabuki Saaya
Comments: 6
Kudos: 44





	Sidelines

* * *

It was taking Arisa every ounce of control to keep her cool, to not let the bane that had become her emotions rear its destructive head and cause friction between them. But she couldn't help it, the cesspool of negative thoughts and possibilities whirling around in her mind like a tornado, ripping the foundations of her sensibility to shreds.

The fight was a losing battle. 

It had become reoccurring enough for Tae to do this, to leave her.

And for what?

Playing a few gigs with Raise A Suilen.

WIth Wakana Rei.

Arisa detested the notion of her getting to spend this much time with Tae. 

It pissed her off further that her girlfriend seemed as oblivious as ever, not knowing of the anguish Arisa was stirring in every time she stepped out of the door. The blonde's already cantankerous personality was teetering over the edge, shoved further by her lover's incognizant demeanour. 

Arisa's hazel orbs watched the way Tae was zipping around their home, gathering a few of her things before picking up her guitar and walking to Arisa who was stood near the entrance of the hallway.

"I won't be long tonight, okay?".

" _You said that the night before, and the night before_ " Arisa thought to herself with derision, "You sure? You haven't spent the night here in a while".

"I haven't?" Tae said to herself, her head tilting as she pondered, "Hmm, that's no good. But I won't be late since we should finish by 11 so I'll see you then?".

Arisa refrained from scowling, " _It isn't like I can say otherwise_ " she mused before sighing, "Yeah, whatever. Will see you then and I hope the live goes well".

"Thank you, Arisa" Tae smiled and pulled the blonde into a firm embrace, her arms locking around Arisa's small frame, "I love you".

" _Do you really, O-Tae?_ " is what Arisa wanted to question but she yielded to the affection Tae was giving her, feeling starved of it since it had been a while since they had a moment together.

Arisa slung her arms over Tae's shoulders and kept her close, her face buried in the woman's chest, inhaling her soothing scent whilst feeling Tae's lips press on the top her head. Maybe she could keep her from leaving, perhaps she could convince her to spend just another hour with her.

Her thoughts spiralled into thinking of ways to keep Tae to herself so she lifted her head up further till she could feel Tae's skin skim her lips. Slowly, she kissed her neck whilst pulling the woman in impossibly closer to her as her hands clutched at Tae's shoulders now. The scent she was shrouded in was driving Arisa insane, making her want to effectuate a plan of action to keep Tae with her. 

Just for a little while so that Arisa could remember what it felt like to be held by the guitarist whom had sworn to stay by her side. 

" _O-Tae..you're a liar_ ". 

Her hands slid down Tae's side till Arisa could run her fingers up the woman's lithesome body, fingers scraping over her top and beneath her jacket. She just had to discard the first layer and she was sure Tae would postpone going out, opting to take her on the floor right there and then. 

But it didn't happen. 

She felt Tae stiffen in discomfort, not pleasure and then move her hands to her shoulders to push her back slightly and the action _broke_ Arisa.

Every time she attempted to initiate intimacy, Tae would knock her back.

"Sorry, I really have to go" Tae reminded, "Maybe we can continue this later?".

" _You mean when you come home at 3, smelling of her?_ " she thought as she dropped her hands away from Tae and stepped back, "Okay".

It was all she could say as she took in the bright eyes she'd once fallen in love with.

Whenever they looked at her now, it was like Tae was thinking of someone else, _someone_ that made her smile genuinely now.

Someone who she was going to spend time with rather than being at home with her lover.

Arisa felt her brittle bones soften, cracking under Tae's touch still left on her shoulders as the taller woman leant down and kissed her forehead before leaving the premise, "See you soon, Arisa".

She watched Tae leave for the night without a second glance, too focused on what was waiting for her.

 _Who_ was waiting for her. 

The cold enveloped Arisa as she shuffled back into the living room with her body on autopilot now. She wasn't sure how long she could endure this, put up with the absence of Tae in her life and knowing she could do nothing about it. All it proved was that she'd made a colossal mistake in letting Tae become anything more than a best friend and giving her the opportunity to hurt her.

Wound her in ways Arisa had never felt before. 

She collapsed onto the couch as the silence of the room became intolerable.

Loneliness was something she had acclimatised to, welcomed at one point prior to the existence of her chance encounter with Poppin'Party so it was easy to deal with.

But letting them in meant that she had exposed herself to people, to friends, to a lover and that silence without them was now suffocating.

She didn't want to be alone anymore, trapped in her mind like she had been caged in for 500 years, left alone to fester in bitterness, forgotten by those who supposedly loved her. 

Arisa wrapped her arms around her knees as her eyes glistened with a dam of tears just waiting to explode.

This had become the routine for months now, ever since Rei and her band had resurfaced back into Tae's life after years worth of quietude. It was gradual, the occasional meet up here and there. And then it turned into doing lives together till the early morning, hopping from one venue to another.

Tae left her and the tears would never hesitate to fall after.

Arisa resented herself for feeling this, for acquiring such an attraction to the guitarist because all it was doing now was hurting her and there was nothing she could do about it.

That was how the night went.

She would kill time around the house, catch up with the others before turning in for bed as a fitful night of worrying pursued. Arisa would wait and watch the time flash before her eyes.

10 pm.Tae should be done, heading home to her now.

12 Am. Still nothing, no text, no call, nothing.

2 Am. Tae's side of the bed remained empty and cold.

4 Am. Sometimes she wouldn't come back, sometimes she would.

Arisa never knew how her night would end but the one thing that was consisted was the gaping wound in her soul that had been carved out by Tae and filled in with resentment, distrust, jealously and..hopelessness.

She was tired.

Her body shook as the sobs escaped finally whilst thoughts of Tae and Rei together formed in her mind and all the things they were probably getting up to.

The salacious imagery of Rei invading Tae's personal space and the guitarist thriving off of it. 

The lascivious ways Rei was probably using her fingers to strum something other than her bass. 

The audible sound of Tae's husky voice moaning out Rei's name instead of hers long into the night. 

Disgust hit her in waves which made Arisa dig her nails into her knees, her breathing feeling constricted as her head pulsed with a level of pain that was unbearable.

"O-Tae..".

She couldn't be alone, not like this. 

Panic was settling in quicker than she would have liked and with haste, Arisa grasped out to reach her phone on the table in front of her. Her hands were shuddering as she skimmed through her list of contacts, her blurry eyes making it difficult to see. She blinked them away, the fresh tears now coursing down her cheeks as her thumb hovered over a name that brought her a sense of peace just by looking at it.

Arisa could lean on her, she needed _her_.

Pride and reservation aside, Arisa hit the call button and waited as it rang a few times.

"Please, pick up, _please_.." she muttered and by the time she had registered what was occurring, the voice she had grown to be assuaged by picked up.

"Arisa, are you okay?".

Clearing her throat and willing her voice to steady itself, Arisa replied, "Uh hey, I'm okay, sorry for calling so late".

"It's okay" came Saaya's worried tone, "What's wrong? Arisa?".

Of course the brunette could see through her even if they were not face to face and Arisa flinched at the concern laced in the few words Saaya had uttered. She was about to breakdown again, "I-it's nothing, I just wanted to hear your voice" Arisa managed, a bitter laugh escaping her lips, "Sorry, I'm being really weird right now. I'll let you go".

"I'm on my way".

"Wait, you don't have to, Saaya, it's late".

The drummer interrupted her, her voice finalised but soft, "I'll come to you, Arisa. See you soon".

Arisa stared at her phone as Saaya hung up and the image of her caller display appeared.

Seeing the brunette's beguiling face, that warm smile so free and vibrant made Arisa's heart hammer in a way Tae used to make it. 

It was what Arisa wanted, craved, whenever Tae would leave her side. 

Every time this happened, Arisa would call Saaya and the brunette would be there, like clockwork.

But something felt different this time, something in Saaya's tone and Arisa wasn't sure what it was but she'd find out soon enough.

At the Yamabuki residence, Saaya had made quick work in collecting her things, her mind running on the thought of Arisa's tear ridden face, the one she was so desperately trying to hide.

The cause of it angered Saaya further and she still couldn't fathom what Tae was thinking, what she was letting out of her grasps.

She expected better from the guitarist but perhaps that was where she made her mistake.

Tae was Tae and through her actions she had made her feelings towards Arisa clear. 

All Saaya could do was be the comfort the blonde needed while the routine happened again and she'd let it.

Tae would hurt Arisa and Arisa would run to her.

Saaya was okay with that, for now. 

Anything to be someone important to Arisa, even if she couldn't be the one Arisa loved.

***

By the time Saaya had arrived, Arisa had somewhat composed herself but Saaya could see she was barely holding on by a string.

She'd spent half an hour consoling the woman, her stifled sobs piercing through to Saaya's heart and all it did was make her own resentment for Tae increase.

Saaya wondered how she could be so unheeded to what she was putting Arisa through. 

From the sounds of it, Tae's behaviour unfortunately led to one conclusion; her relationship with Rei being addressed and seen to behind Arisa's back.

If that was the case, the brunette would rather Tae just come clean with the keyboardist instead of putting her through the abysmal hell of not knowing where they stood.

Where she herself stood with Arisa if Tae was out of the picture. 

"I'm sorry about this" Arisa managed and turned her face to look at Saaya whom was seated next to her.

Saaya squeezed the hand in hers, "You don't have to apologise, Arisa. I just wish I could do something to help you. Talking to O-Tae hasn't made anything better. I thought she understood but it's like she hasn't registered it as anything serious".

"Either that or she's happy sleeping around with Wakana".

The bluntness of the sentence caught the brunette off guard, her mouth opening to try and reassure Arisa that that wasn't the case but she knew it'd be futile. Arisa was known to be churlish but this was something else and Tae was responsible for that. 

It was glaring them in the face now, no amount of words could assuage the emotions Arisa was drowning in.

"It's true, isn't I? Or am I just making a mountain out of an anthill?" Arisa asked, her voice hopeful, anything to quell the madness forming in her mind, "Am I losing my shit over nothing, Saaya?".

"I don't think so" Saaya replied, "But until O-Tae addresses this directly, it is hard to say. Either way, this is not fair on you at all" she added softly when noticing a fresh gleam to Arisa's hazel eyes again, " _How long has this been going on for?_ " she thought to herself, " _How long are you going to let O-Tae do this to you when I, I.._ ".

Saaya willed for her train of thought to crash off the rails.

It was one thing to simmer in her unrequited feelings for Arisa, it was another thing to wish for something to happen between them now, especially when the blonde was as vulnerable as she could be.

Arisa kept her gaze trained on the brunette, noticing the slight hesitation in her actions and thoughts but she was relieved to hear Saaya's input. 

She was not going insane, imagining things that were not happening.

Tae had changed, had become more cold and distant. 

Bored. 

Arisa pondered if that was the case with their relationship. 

Had the sex become stagnant?

Had the well of passion run dry? 

Had the sounds of a piano become soporific? 

Tae's impulse control was still relatively nascent, after all. 

"Is that it, is she.. _bored_ of me?".

"Arisa, that is impossible" Saaya said sternly and leaned forward to clasp both of Arisa's hands in hers, "I don't think there is a person in the world that could get bored of you. You are so interesting, there isn't a day that has gone by where I haven't loved being with you" Saaya admitted before catching her words, "That's just as friends so I imagine that being with you is even more amazing".

There was nothing fulsome about Saaya's praise, just unadulterated honesty. 

Arisa was slightly taken aback by the comforting confession, her cheeks flushing for a different reason now, "T-thanks, Saaya. Maybe it's different because she and I are involved though".

"What do you mean?". 

The blonde stood up after gently laying Saaya's hands down on the couch with such consideration, such was Arisa's nature. As brash as she could be, she cared, she loved with an intensity that it could be frighteningly powerful.

Tae was lucky and she didn't even know it and the thought made Saaya's stomach lurch in disarray.

Both at herself and Tae.

Arisa had walked to the wall where an array of pictures were dotted, her eyes landing on one of her and Tae with the taller woman hugging her from the back. It was an image of their final year at school, so many years ago and how so much had changed she couldn't fathom.

The memories brought back a salutary wave of nostalgia but it only lasted a fleeting second before reality poured down on her. 

"When she tells me she loves me..it's in a way we all say to each other, like we're just friend's again" Arisa divulged, a scoff emitting from her mouth as she folded her arms across her chest, "That spark she had for me is dead, I'm sure of it.To quote Kasumi, there is no more sparkle sparkle and shine between us anymore" she finished sadly.

"Arisa" Saaya whispered and stood up to walk to where the other woman was.

"She doesn't even touch me anymore, Saaya, I can't remember the last time she slept with me. Fuck, the last time she kissed me on the lips was months ago". 

Saaya clenched her fists at the revelation as she watched the keyboardist's frame slump forward.

All she could wonder was how Tae could do this to Arisa, how she had dismantled the woman Arisa had become, shoving her back into the shell of being reclusive. 

She could never imagine leaving Arisa alone unless she wanted it. 

Saaya knew her hands would get acquainted with every curve on the surface of Arisa's supine body. All the countless of dreams she'd had of making love to the blonde probably couldn't even touch upon the actual experience. 

Having the opportunity to even kiss Arisa, to taste her, to feel her crumbling around her fingers; what Saaya would give to have a chance to be Arisa's lover. 

"When we talk, it's always about RAS, never Popipa. It's Rei this and Rei that. Whenever I try to bring up my concerns, she brushes them away, saying it's nothing and that she loves me. Loves me _that_ way".

Saaya placed a hand on Arisa's shoulder, pressing it gently to remind her that was she there, ready to be there if she needed to fall-back.

"I'm so tired of trying, Saaya. I'm just so tired".

The brunette slowly turned Arisa around and embraced her. Her arms wrapped around the shorter woman fiercely as she felt Arisa's do the same, clinging onto her like she was about to collapse. The sobs escaped again and Saaya's own cerulean eyes were misty at the misery the woman she loved was enduring.

If only she could switch places with Tae, how she would amend the pieces of Arisa's broken heart.

For now, she whispered numerous apologies against Arisa's shoulder as her hand ran through the golden locks that had ceased to be put in twin tails anymore.

"Arisa, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry..".

"Why are _you_ apologising?" Arisa chuckled weakly and clawed at Saaya's top to keep her near, "It isn't like you're the one hurting me. Not that you ever would".

"I'd never forgive myself if I made you cry like this" Saaya stated, her voice hushed and brushing against the blonde's ear, "I'd never make you doubt us, doubt _yourself_ ".

Arisa felt her body's warmth magnify at the sincere words sailing inside to her ears and brain, lighting up the areas that were craving comfort and need.

"I'd never leave you alone".

"Saaya".

The drummer pulled back slightly but kept her arms around Arisa, the action perfunctory given how weak she was feeling. 

She glanced down to see curious hazel eyes looking up at her. Saaya wanted to drown in the gaze the blonde was giving her, so honest, so open, like she wanted Saaya to catch her.

There was no going back now.

She'd already said enough, but at the same time, she hadn't. 

"I love you, Arisa".

If crossing the line meant making Arisa happy, then so be it.

"W-what are you saying?".

It wasn't a refusal, Saaya noticed this.

"I love you, Arisa. I..love you so much".

Arisa buckled in Saaya's embrace with her arms curling behind the drummer's neck, the edges of Saaya's ponytail kissing her skin. Her mind had reached a lull, it was peaceful yet stormy and she couldn't help but to throw herself into Saaya's presence further.

She wasn't even thinking of anything but the tender woman staring at her, soul and heart bared.

"I'm going to kiss you" Saaya said softly and moved a hand so that it rested on Arisa's tear stained cheek, "If you don't want that, then push me away because I can't, I can't stand to see you hurting like this anymore. Not when I'd give anything to see you smile, Arisa".

As far as Tae was concerned, she had fucked up enough for Saaya to want to swoop in and take her place, should Arisa allow it.

Arisa's hands slowly found themselves on Saaya's face as her lips waited for what Saaya had said she was going to do and Arisa let her, without a second thought or doubt.

She let Saaya kiss her.

She kissed her back.

Words couldn't convey what it felt like to have the softness of the drummer's lips against hers. 

It had nothing to do with not being touched by Tae for so long.

No, this was entirely the fact of someone who adored her kissing her in a way that made her body succumb.

Arisa whimpered against the brunette's lips as their connection increased, mouths parting and tongues slowly exploring the new space.

Saaya had backed Arisa up against the wall behind her as her other hand remained firm against Arisa's waist whilst their kiss deepened, breaking the boundaries and chains.

Their hands gripped each other's bodies with unkempt energy while their mouths continued savouring and tasting each other.

The silence in Arisa's mind had halted as Saaya overtook her senses, creating a steady rhythm like she was playing the drums, makings sure Arisa's hands on her body were steady. Their synergy was transcending into their unwavering affection for each other as they slowed down their mouths, a light kiss here and a playful lick there.

Arisa was gone to the sensation of Saaya holding her up when they pulled away. She could see the spark in the blue eyes staring at her and it restarted something in Arisa's mind. 

Something which had diminished years ago with Tae, something she hadn't realised since she was clutching onto anything that would stave away her loneliness.

But _this_ was different; it was not forced and it wasn't a ruse.

Saaya was in love with her.

The calloused palm cupping her cheek caressed her as Saaya's thumb wiped at another stream of tears. She waited for Arisa to decide how to proceed, willing to accept whatever occurred.

Even if Arisa turned her away.

"Since when?" Arisa asked, her voice breathy as her arms shook whilst climbing up Saaya's back.

"Since as far back as I can remember, Arisa. There was something seriously cute about the way you were running away from Kasumi" she smiled with a shake of her head, "I don't think I know how to stop loving you".

"W-would you want to do that?". 

Saaya answered in a susurrus tone, "Even if you were to reject me now and stay with O-Tae, I won't leave you. I won't stop loving you, as selfish as that may seem".

"You're an idiot.." Arisa exhaled, a smile creeping at the corner of her lips as Saaya brushed her nose against hers, "Can you wait a little longer, just till I sort this mess out, please?". 

Hope was a powerful attribute and it made Saaya's heart sore.

The possibility of something blooming between them was all she desired, she had waited long enough, what was waiting a bit longer? 

Arisa quickly added something else in a bid to solidify what she was thinking, "I don't need time to figure out if I'm still in love with O-Tae. That..happened long ago and I was in denial. I need the time to-".

"Arisa, you don't have to explain it to me. Hearing the first part was enough" Saaya gently stated and tucked a strand of the blonde fringe back.

"But I _do_ have to explain myself. I have no intention of messing you around, Saaya. I just need to put everything else to rest whilst letting you in. I want to end things with O-Tae, too".

"I'll wait for you as long as you need" Saaya assured and pressed herself against the blonde, "You don't have to do this alone. I'm here, I always have been so we can do this together".

Arisa gulped as she gauged the brunette's honest expression, feeling that this situation was too good to be true.

But a click of the front door opening told her otherwise.

"Arisa, I'm home".

Tae's voice rang out through the hallway and it made Saaya's grip on the blonde increase. She noticed the defiant expression on Arisa's face and it was amazing to see the way the downtrodden aura had been lifted from the keyboardist and Saaya wanted to see more of that.

"Stay with me?" she asked Saaya in a hopeful tone.

Saaya's brilliant smile serenaded the worries about what was going to happen when she confronted Tae as the guitarist made her way to the room.

Arisa and Saaya stood up from the wall, hand in hand as Tae rounded her way in to see her best friend and girlfriend together.

"Always".


End file.
